When I stood on the safe side of a recent decision, it looked daring; on the other side—the 20/20 side—it looked crazy.
This whole series has been about knowing there’s more than what I (or we) typically experience and/or understand about God, His love, and our relationship. I know there’s so much more to the Christian life, a richness of love and intimacy and adventure and meaning and, well, even craziness that most of us do not typically touch on any given day. Life gets so hum-drum and we get so short-sided, when, all along, there is a current of deeper importance running parallel to this thing we call “living life.” Only every now and then do we glance over at it, dip our toes in, or take pictures of it. But I know God meant this Christian life for so much more. Continue reading →
You and the tandem partner strapped to your back—whom you’ve known for only five minutes—shuffle toward the back of the narrow airplane, where the door is open wide. Everything you’ve ever learned through commercial flying has been defied in the last thirty seconds, especially as you’ve watched the three other tandem teams stand in the doorway and immediately disappear.
Now it’s your turn to plummet. As you hang out the door, there is absolutely nothing between you and the ground, which is more than ten thousand feet below. Even though you’ve traveled by air all your life, the sensation of looking so far down is not the same as that moment you let go.Continue reading →
It was as if an old version of me stood before the current me, whispering a lesson I’d forgotten.
I was kneeling next to my bookcase, an old Bible study guide in my lap. Moments before, out of nowhere, I’d gotten the overwhelming urge to clear through my bookcase. I’d pulled all the donatable books two weeks ago, but today, I’d decided that wasn’t enough; I had to get rid of some others. They wouldn’t be donated, just put out of sight.
Even though I was being rather fast and furious in my “everything, be gone” spree, there was one book I had the urge to flip through. I’d been doing shockingly well not flipping (as book lovers are often wont to do), but I couldn’t resist this urge as I held the old Bible study guide, even though it evoked bittersweet feelings. Continue reading →
Have you ever tried walking a straight line in the snow? No matter how much you think you’re walking as straight as a compass, when you turn around, you realize your path is comparable to that of a dog on a sidewalk full of fire hydrants.
Well, that’s been me the last few months. I set out on this blog journey to pursue God’s love and I feel as if I’ve lost sight of what straight and true is. I think the end of last year derailed me. Continue reading →
Here at the end of the year, I want to thank You for opening my heart more this year than any other. Looking back, Lord, it has been a year with a smile for every tear.
In these twelve months, You’ve led me through so much, emphasizing one theme in particular: for some hearts to be opened, they need to be broken. Shattered by love so love could shine in and through.
How can it be that, while I’ve never felt more shattered, I’ve never been more whole? Perhaps I never saw clearly before, and perhaps I’ve never leaned on You so much before.
Here near the close of one of the happiest and hardest years of my life, I am at the end of myself, right where I ought to be. You brought me here, and I’m thankful. I wouldn’t want to walk the path again, yet I know there’s much more to trod. So I take Your hand once more, put my trust in Your love and wisdom, and wait to see what’s next. Because I now know that where You are, there’s so much more.
God’s love and human ability. They don’t seem linked, do they? When I used to feel frustration at my inability to perceive God’s love, never did my own strength—or lack thereof—factor into my thinking.
Wow, has God been showing me a lot about strength. And weakness. Physical, spiritual, mental…
So, a little backstory:
I’ve not acquired the nickname Helga sarcastically. Though I was the youngest child and only daughter, my family never showed special treatment when it came to splitting firewood, hauling rocks, building, or helping my dad with his handyman jobs. In fact, I wouldn’t let anyone treat me as weaker. When necessary, I did my best to keep up with my dad and brother as we worked on our ranch and tamed a small wilderness. It was exhausting, but I would have been disappointed in myself if I couldn’t perform. Continue reading →
Image courtesy of atibodyphoto at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I’ve tried to write this post so many times. Like, a record number. Perhaps some reasons are:
1) When I look at this past month, some pretty big things have happened. Some on the surface, but most of them down deep. God’s up to something, and the waters are churning. It’s almost hard to focus on any one thing to write about.
2) This is going to be a series and first, non-intro pieces need to be a certain way, or so my perfectionist nature is telling me. But I don’t entirely know how I’ll be going about all this, so I’m just canon-balling in and maybe I’ll learn to dive later. Maybe. Continue reading →